December 2009
2000's
My favorite hockey team won 2 Stanley Cups and went 7 games in a 3rd. My favorite baseball team won 2 World Series. My favorite football team won a Super Bowl. My favorite basketball team went to 2 NBA finals.
Pretty good decade.
“Yeah… Sorry for not calling you back… ever.”
– Dennis, Sunny
In retrospect, I'm rather glad the Colts forfeited...
It increases the likelihood that the Jets will make the playoffs over the Steelers. Think about it, who do you think the Colts would rather see in the playoffs down the road?: The Jets and their rookie (and shitty) QB or the defending champion Pittsburg Steelers and their QB who has a career 8-2 playoff record?
Fun Fact
If you type “Pandolf” on Google, Pandolfo is the 7th automatic option. He’s the 7th most searched thing on google after the first 7 letters of his 8 letter name are typed.
Chico Eats
Brought to you by the makers of the Pandolfone.
Some of ESPN page 2's quotes of the year
“This is a tease, man. It’s like when you have a girlfriend and you are kissing her all over the place and you get to the Mambo, and she say no. That’s where we are right now.” — White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen, on falling into third place for good
“I don’t think anyone on this team knows what ‘schism’ is, let alone could use it in a sentence....
Swollen thumb, aching shoulder, semi-stiff knee
Would have all been worth it if Rosner didn’t fucking suck at football.
Don you want me to shoot it? NO. Do you want me to...
-Shaq
My teaching lit professor can suck my fucking dick
Despite her best effort, I still made the Dean’s List. Blow me, cunt.
I now realize that Mr Mehalick calling Jet fans...
I’ve never seen a more pitiful attempt of rubbing in a victory over a team’s backups.
Not sure why but I can't sign into Tumblr on...
Maybe it’s because my personal power animal is the bat-eared fox.
Rote: What the hell is Bunnicula?
Mehalick: My Christmas present from my fucking sister.
Best gift of the day
Unwrapped a present to find a Snuggie Box. Opened the Snuggie Box to find a Pandolfo jersey instead of a Snuggie.
Biggest. Mood Swing. Ever.
Portion of a song created by Mehalick, Rote, and...
Duck Phone (Duck Phone) Duck Phone (Duck Phone)
Fucked a girl and made her moan (her moan) Duck Phone (Duck Phone) Duck Phone (Duck Phone)
Went to the bank, took out a loan (a loan) Duck Phone (Duck Phone) Duck Phone (Duck Phone)
Got a best friend named Scone (named Scone) Duck Phone (Duck Phone) Duck Phone (Duck Phone)
“BOTARRRRRRRR”
– Mike Mehalick, in the Brookdale voice.
Some lady tackled the Pope during a Christmas mass...
She was probably pissed that he rejected her friend request on myspace.
OH SNAP
Guess what I saw.
“I FUCKING TOLD YA”
– Eminem/Mike Mehalick
CHICO EATS →
Stats of the Week No. 5: Atlanta and Carolina won, and were eliminated from playoff contention; Minnesota lost, and clinched its division.
So happy Melky isn't a Yankee anymore
Maybe the Braves and their fans will show him a little more respect.
“OMG I GET WET FOR DREW BREES!!! DREW BREES MVP!!! SAINTS ARE SO GOOD!!11!! BEST...”
– Everyone (via apice3)
You’re a hater.
(via notahatrack)
It’s not that I’m a hater, it’s just the way ESPN says what they want to say. They put the Saints on a pedestal and try to pick apart the Colts to find a flaw. Well, now I’m anxious to see how they attempt to make an...
“OMG I GET WET FOR DREW BREES!!! DREW BREES MVP!!! SAINTS ARE SO GOOD!!11!! BEST...”
– Everyone
Jacques Lemaire pisses me the fuck off: A note to...
1995, Jacques Lemaire coached the NJ Devils to its first Stanley Cup. He instituted the greatest defensive plan of all time, referred to as “The Devils Trap” in NJ. This defense consisted of one defender playing a zone on each of the corners, allowing the fifth player to play the puck. This prevented opposing offenses from getting the puck into the Devils zone and thus created less...
I think I'm getting sick for the first time since...
And I’m boycotting Tumblr until the GIF fad ends. No offense guys, but each one gets reblogged at least once or twice and my computer tries to explode.
And now Mike Cameron is officially a member of the...
Dear Theo Epstein,
Over the years, you have made some wonderful moves. Bringing in Beckett and Lowell, the trade for Victor Martinez, the recent signing of Lackey, and many more. I had my doubts when you traded Manny for Bay, but it clearly worked out. Bay hit the shit out of the ball in Boston. So you’re going to let him go? Here’s an idea. Instead of signing an old ass Mike Cameron...